Questionnaire for State Senator Neil Riser

Blogger Lamar White pretends to submit a questionnaire to Sen. Neil Riser on behalf of the Louisiana GOP. This post by one of Louisiana’s best political bloggers is an instant classic. I urge you to read it.

Dear State Senator Neil Riser,

The Louisiana Republican Party is prepared to issue an official endorsement for your candidacy. We thank you for your willingness to offer yourself as a candidate, and we fully understand and sympathize with the difficulty of this life-changing decision.  We are more than happy to extend to you the full panoply of Republican services, including expert psychiatric care, a veritable boatload of cash, and, when it’s all said and done, a week’s vacation at Musket Cove in Fiji.

The Louisiana Republican Party remains in constant communication with our donors, our loosely affiliated and friendly concentric circles of 527s, 501(c)4s, PACs, and SuperPACs, and as you likely appreciate, time is of the essence.

In order to properly shore up necessary commitments from our partners, we need you to answer the following questions, and we respectfully request that you send your responses back within the next twelve hours. Again, time is of the essence. Thank you so much for your understanding. We look forward to working with you, and we are confident that if you are elected, Louisiana will never be the same again. No doubt about it.


1. When did you decide to run for this election? Was it before or after Congressman Alexander resigned? (Quick editorial aside: Neil, buddy, we’d never use this against you. Trust us. This is completely off-the-record. Next time, though, we’d prefer to know in advance about this stuff, so we can avoid these intrusive and admittedly amateurish questionnaires. No offense).

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