By Robert Mann
On Sept. 13, Republican state Treasurer John Kennedy, a candidate for the U.S. Senate, issued the following statement:
“Earlier today, the [Charles Boustany] campaign sent out an email alleging that my campaign and other candidates’ campaigns for the U.S. Senate played a role in the shocking story alleging illegal behavior from Congressman Boustany and his staff. I want to be very clear that my campaign played absolutely no role in creating this story alleging Congressman Boustany’s sexual relationships with prostitutes that were later murdered, his staff’s alleged involvement in running the bar and hotel where this illicit behavior took place, or publishing the book‘Murder in the Bayou’ written by Ethan Brown and published by Simon and Schuster.
“With just a few weeks left before Election Day, my campaign is focused exclusively on talking about real solutions to address our country’s problems. My wife Becky and I are keeping the congressman, Mrs. Boustany and their children in our prayers as they deal with this as a family.”
After I read this incredible statement, I tried to imagine what Kennedy must have been like early in his career, particularly in high school. Here’s what I imagine he might have said back then.
Statement by Johnny Kennedy, candidate for 9th Grade Class President, 1966
“Earlier today, the people running the annual Zachary High School Spelling Bee launched an investigation into shocking allegations about Danny Smitherman, who was the winner of this year’s competition and is my opponent for class president.
“I had absolutely nothing to do with bringing to light these troubling charges that Danny cheated and might not deserve the trophy. I did not suggest to Mr. Johnson that Danny had persuaded Jenny Wilson to sit in the fifth row and mouth the letters to Danny. I was not the one who called Mr. Johnson at home Thursday at 10:03 p.m. to report this illicit behavior. Also, the fact that Jenny dumped me last month for Danny had nothing to do with these allegations coming to light three days before the election.